Talks with Joe
by Aaunty Pasta
Summary: Joe is gone, but the family still feels him… even Linda and Eddie. Sometimes, they have a conversation with him without even meaning to.


Talks with Joe

Joe is gone, but the family still feels him… even Linda and Eddie. Sometimes, they have a conversation with him without even meaning to.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

In his mind's eye, Frank could still see Joe sitting there, in the chair next to Pop. The family was laughing around him, just last Sunday. There was something in his eyes though. Like somehow he knew that it was the last Sunday dinner with the family. Then again, Perhaps the memory was tainted by Joe's death.

Now, Frank sat across from the chair as it sat, empty and cold. "What happened?" he asked the chair.

In his mind's eye, he could see his lost son, sitting in the chair. "I don't know what happened, dad," he said. "One minute I was there, the next, I was gone."

"Why?"

"Because someone shot me," he replied, ever the smart ass. "Duh."

"How could this happen?"

"Dad, it happened," this shadow of Joe told him. "Eventually, you'll figure out why. Right now, it's time to mourn me… and remember."

Frank could only watch the empty chair and hold back the tears. "On my watch," he muttered.

"It's not your fault, Dad," Joe said, the image leaning forward. "Somewhere in your gut, you know that."

"I keep hearing that from everyone," Frank said. "Doesn't make it true."

"But it is true, Dad," his son insisted. "It is true. My death is not your fault."

"I can't stop…," Frank began, a sob finally escaping.

"I know, dad," Joe replied. "But it could have as easily been Jamie… or Erin."

"Shot by an assailant?" Frank growled. "I should have never let you transfer to the warrant squad."

"They could have been shot in the courtroom," Joe pointed out. Frank rarely got angry at his children, but when he did, Joe was the one who always who took it in stride. "Or been in a car accident on the street."

"Not as likely," Frank pointed out.

"True," Joe said. "But anything worth doing has risk. Sometimes the result of that risk is death."

Frank closed his eyes willing for his son to be there when he opened them back up. It was just an empty chair.

He could still hear Joe's voice in his mind. "I was doing what I loved," he said. "What Danny loves, what you loved, what Grandpa loved." The shadow turned into a swirl of memories… of a baby Joe in his mother's arms; a child wrestling with his brothers, his sister egging them on; the teen, eyeing the car that Frank just never had time for; the college Joe, studying with every cute girl on campus; and the adult Joe, the one who had sat at this table less than a week ago. He closed his eyes against the last images he had of him, Joe laying face-down on the cold concrete, his blood… his life, pooling around him.

When Frank finally looked up, he found himself at an empty table with Joe's empty chair screaming back at him.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Jamie sat in the front seat of Joe's car, a 1971 Chevy Chevelle Malibu SS, remembering his brother with a slight smile on his face as he went through the songs on Joe's IPod. Suddenly, the next song wasn't a song, and Jamie heard his brother's voice instead.

"Testing, testing," his brother's voice came through the earphones. "This is Detective Joseph Reagan. Six months into my investigation of Blue Templar. Big meet tomorrow. I think I'm in. My FBI contact was changed without explanation. I don't know if they can be trusted. I make this record separate from my recordings for them. More after tomorrow."

"What the hell," Jamie said and he stopped the playback. He went back and played it again. The same message in Joe's voice played for him. "What the hell were you into?"

"You're in my car," Joe said

"My car now," Jamie replied.

He looked at the passenger seat to find his brother sitting there.

"What's going on?" Jamie asked. "What happened?"

"I'm trying to figure that out," Joe said.

"What's this with the Blue Templar?"

"I don't know," Joe replied. "But I'm sure you'll find out."

"Are you sure I can do this?" Jamie asked.

"I left the puzzle for you," Joe told him. "Now that you're a cop you can figure it out."

"That's not what Danny thinks," Jamie said.

"Danny just wants to make sure you do things right," Joe shrugged.

"He's been on my back since I graduated," Jamie said. "I'm kind of getting tired of it."

"You're still a rookie, Jamie," Joe said. "He'll be like that until your… maybe third… partner."

"Was he like that with you?" Jamie asked

"Are you kidding? He was worse with me," Joe grumbled. "I just could not get him off my back."

Jamie laughed. "Are you sure he was worse with you?"

Joe laughed as well. "Just make sure you listen to everything Renzulli tells you and you'll be fine.'

Jamie looked at the empty seat beside him. "I miss you, Joe."

"I miss you too kid," Joe said.

"Will it get any easier?" Jamie asked.

"Someday, Jamie," Joe replied "You know I miss you too, right?"

"You just said as much." Jamie took a deep breath and sighed. "I just wish you were here."

"I wish I was here too, kid," Joe said. "But I'm not. You'll just have to learn to live without me."

"That's something that won't be easy," Jamie told him.

"Nothing worth doing is ever easy," Joe told him.

"Getting over you is something I don't think we'll ever do," Jamie retorted.

" _TRY_ ," Joe ordered.

"You really think we'll get over losing you?"

"Probably not," Joe said. "At least not in this lifetime."

Jamie smiled. "I just hope that I can be half the cop that you were."

"Watch it, kid," Joe said. "You'll give me a swelled head."

Jamie laughed. "I thought you already had a swelled head."

Jamie looked at the empty seat beside him. In his head he could still hear Joe's laughter.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Henry sat in the chair, watching the hall that went to his son's hospital room. He had turned the chair to watch the hall, to guard his only surviving son's room… Not that he didn't trust the detail. The space of mere seconds meant the difference between the shooter hitting his target and the detail moving between them before he could. Henry was intent on backing them up. If someone came after his son here, as he rested from being shot, Henry was determined to back them up.

Some time ago, his grandchildren behind him had dozed off. In front of him, suddenly, was Joe.

"Dad's going to be fine," he said, his hands in his pockets as he had been the last time Henry had seen him alive.

"I know that," Henry told his grandson. "I never thought he wouldn't." He paused. "I just don't like the thought I might lose another son."

"I know, Pops," Joe replied. "I know."

"I ask myself," Henry told his grandson. "Why? Why did you have to die? Why aren't you back there with your brothers and sister…" He gestured with his thumb to his grandkids. "…Dozing as we wait for morning?"

"I didn't see him, Pops," Joe replied. "He shot me in the back. Maybe I had to die to make them more careful." He gestured to his siblings behind Henry. "Make Dad more careful."

"Parents aren't supposed to bury their kids you know."

"I know," Joe said. "And I know you buried a son already."

"Your dad isn't careless," Henry said. "But if he hadn't turned to save Walter, he might have taken the brunt of it in the chest. Been killed instantly."

"Don't dwell on the what ifs," Joe said. "Dwell on the fact that he's still here." He paused as his grandfather nodded. "You'll figure it out, Pops. Danny'll find who tried to kill him."

"If he can get in the investigation," Henry said.

"He'll find them even if they don't let him in the investigation," Joe pointed out. "You know Danny."

"Yeah," Henry said as he glanced over his shoulder to said grandson, dozing on the hospital couch, his wife's head in his lap. "I know Danny." He turned back to find Joe gone.

He blinked. "We miss you," Henry whispered, a tear in his eye.

"I know, Pops," he heard Joe's voice in his head. "I miss you, too."

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Linda was lying on the couch, enjoying a glass of wine, her feet propped on the coffee table on a pillow, of all things, as her boys finished the dishes in the kitchen. Erin had been with her, but had gone off to help Nikki with some homework. In the den, the other adults were enjoying a drink. She closed her eyes to enjoy the quiet, only to have Danny's voice break through her calm, arguing with his brother again. She sighed.

"You think those two will ever learn to get along?" she heard someone ask. Linda turned her head to look and found Joe sitting on the couch next to her.

"I don't know," Linda replied. "Do you?"

"Ah," he said as he waved a hand through the air. Linda caught a whiff of his cologne. "They're brothers. Brothers forgive."

"If I can just get Danny to stop treating Jamie like a child," Linda said. "We'll be set."

Joe chuckled. "Other than the fighting," he began. "How has your Mother's Day been going?"

"Lovely," she said and held the glass of wine up before polishing it off. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Noticed your frustration," Joe replied. "Thought I could help."

"Can you play referee?"

"Not from here," he told her. "No. I wish I could."

"Too bad," Linda leaned forward to sit her glass on the coffee table. "I could really use one." She looked at him. "But talking's good too."

"I should have married you when I had the chance," Joe commented and Linda laughed.

"By the time I met you it was too late," Linda replied.

"Too bad," Joe repeated. "Too bad."

Linda leaned her head back and closed her eyes. "This family hasn't been the same since…" she trailed off.

"Change can be good," Joe said.

"Not a change of loss," Linda replied. "Frank is still hurting after losing your mom… and it's been almost seven years." She looked back at him. "And he still feels guilt for you."

"I know," Joe said quietly.

""I mean, disbanding the Blue Templar helped," Linda told him. "But there's still that little bit of guilt, deep down…"

"I died on his watch," Joe said. "But if he hadn't been commissioner, he'd still feel guilty. He's my dad. Parents aren't supposed to bury their children."

"I know," she said and she rested her head and closed her eyes. When the boys came in to announce that they had finished the dishes, he was gone.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Erin sat on the hospital bed, ready to go home but waiting for the doctor to bring the last of her paperwork. Her left arm was safely cradled in a sling and she tried to adjust without making it hurt. She hissed when it did anyway.

"That looks like it hurt," someone said and she looked up then straightened up when she realized that Joe was standing before her.

"This isn't possible," she said. "You can't be here."

"It sure looks like I'm here," he said as he looked at his arms. "Are you sure it's not you who can't be here?"

"Joe," she began. "You're dead."

Joe leaned forward. "I know," he whispered conspiratorially.

"Then you can't be here," Erin said. "You must be a figment of my imagination."

"Oh, maybe 'some little bit of undigested gravy'," Joe quoted from 'A Christmas Carol.'

"Maybe," she said. "What other reason would my dead brother be standing before me?"

"Maybe I just came to see if you're OK," Joe said. "Maybe I know you're all missing me and I want you to know I miss you, too."

Erin didn't know what to say so Joe went on. "I know you and Danny disagree all the time. Almost as much as Jamie and Danny disagree…"

"You kept the family from falling apart," Erin said. "Some Sundays we do nothing but fight."

"Don't I know it," he said then leaned forward to look her in the eyes. "Please don't hurt my family. Because I love them, and they love me."

Erin closed her eyes and let the tears she had been holding back fall. When she opened them again, Joe was gone, but Danny was standing there looking as if he didn't know what to do. Erin let a sob escape and her big brother wrapped her in his arms. "You're fine," he whispered. "No one will ever hurt you again. I won't let 'em…"

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Nikki sat on a bench in the 54th precinct waiting for Danny to take her home.

"You know, kiddo," someone said beside her. "You did a good thing."

Nikki smiled at Joe. "I know," she said. "I just knew Danny'd need it. So I just scooped it up and put it in my pocket."

"You're going to be a great cop someday," Joe said.

"Yeah," Nikki said. "But mom doesn't want me to be a cop."

"It have to do with me?"

"What do you think?" Nikki replied.

"I think I plead the fifth," Joe laughed. "You know I'll be proud whatever you do? Right?"

"I know," Nikki said. "I miss you sometimes. Then sometimes I forget what you look like and that scares me."

"I know," Joe said. "But you were young. I expect that."

"Have you ever talked to anyone else in the family?"

Joe smiled. "Once or twice."

"I want to be a cop," Nikki breathed. "But sometimes I don't think I'd be a very good one."

"You'll be good at whatever you want to do," Joe replied. "Whether it's a cop, a lawyer, or an artist." Nikki smiled at that. "Just make sure that you be you. Got it?"

"I got it," Nikki told him.

"For now," Joe went on. "Follow the rules, listen to the adults around you and don't get caught up behind those rose-colored glasses you see through."

"Mom thinks they're blue," Nikki put in.

Joe chuckled. "Don't let life make you a cynic," he said. "You be you."

"I'll remember that," Nikki said as she looked away.

"You'll remember what?" Danny asked as he approached to take her home.

Nikki looked where Joe had been to find him gone. She smiled up at Danny as she stood. "Nothing," she said. "Just some random thought."

Danny nodded. "You ready to go home?"

"Yeah," she replied and glanced back at the empty chair where Joe had been sitting before taking Danny's arm and letting him lead her away.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Danny sat on the stoop of the house and hung his head, breathing and trying to hold back the tears. "I don't know if I can go on," he whispered.

"If dad did," said a familiar voice from beside him. "So can you."

Danny looked up to find Joe sitting on the step next to him. Joe went on. "This family has had their share of tragedy," Joe said. He pointed at his own chest. "Speaking from experience, here."

Danny snorted. "I lost my house and my wife in the space of a month."

"Yeah," Joe put in. "About that. It's not your fault."

"Not my fault?!" Danny exclaimed. "I went too far!"

"No you didn't," Joe told him. "You went just far enough. _THEY_ went too far when they torched your house." Danny didn't say anything so Joe went on. "Promise me something," he said.

"What?"

"Promise me when you find the guy," Joe said. "You don't try to get revenge. Just find the evidence and arrest him. Erin will make sure he goes away for a very long time. You know she'll do it."

Danny smiled finally. "I know she will," he replied. "By the book with no questions and wrapped in a tight little bow."

Joe smiled back. "No more talk of retiring?"

Danny took a breath and sighed. "No more talk of retiring."

"Good," Joe stated. "The NYPD needs good cops like you… and not in retirement."

Danny smiled and looked at his feet before looking back to find that Joe had vanished. He looked around the porch, wondering if the conversation had been a figment of his imagination.

"Linda's here," Joe's voice went on. "She's worried… Make sure she can stop. OK?"

Danny stood up and dusted himself off. "OK," he replied before he went into the house.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Eddie made her way through the coffee shop as the dispatcher's voice came over the radio. "All patrol units be advised," she began. "The earlier finest message involving an 0-5 Nissan Sentra with ND New Jersey registration…"

"He's in trouble," a voice told her from behind. She felt him following her, but she didn't think he was talking to her and went on to the end of the line as the dispatcher went on.

" …is now amended to add a black 0-5 BMW seven series…

"Go check on him!" the voice was urgent, and when Eddie glanced back, she thought she saw a man in a suit from the corner of her eye, but there was no one there.

…Registration not confirmed but possibly also bearing ND Jersey registration…"

"I swear to God," the voice urged. "The guy is going to kill him."

Eddie glanced back again, ready to tell the guy to shut up, but she could still not see anyone speaking to her.

"…operator may be suspect Dante Sorrento, DOB 3/9/1964. Male, white, 5 foot nine. 54 years of age. Please advise if contact is made with subject…"

"Please listen to me! You're the only one who can save him!"

"…Approach with extreme caution as suspect is believed to be armed and responsible for five homicides," the dispatcher finished.

"Turn around and look out the window," the voice said, and Eddie turned to find no one behind her, but through a clear door outside, she could see a car like the one described by dispatch.

It didn't register at first then she turned and looked one more time in time to see the car pull away from the curb. "I swear to you, Eddie," the man told her. "Jamie is in trouble."  
His words finally spurred her into motion and she began screaming Jamie's name. She pushed her way through the mass of customers, desperate to make it back to Jamie before it was too late. She heard the window of the RMP shatter as she pushed the door open and she brought her gun to bear and shot twice. The man ducked then drove away as Eddie skittered down the steps and into the road, ordering a civilian to stay on the ground as she went. She aimed her weapon, seeing the seconds after she fired it in her mind's eye before pulling the trigger.

The one bullet smashed through the suspect's back window and into the back of his head, killing him instantly. The car sped on until it was stopped by another car, parked near a post.

"Jamie!" Eddie exclaimed as she turned to see he had gotten out of the car, stunned but unhurt. "Jamie!"

"I'm OK," Jamie said with his weapon drawn. "Go, go."

Together, they ran the short distance down the street, guns at the ready. When Jamie opened the door, Sorrento was obviously dead, blood splattered all over the back of his head as it lay on the steering wheel. Eddie was still breathing hard, the adrenaline surging through her body as she gasped for air.

"He's DOA," Jamie said and cuffed the dead man to the wheel before turning to face Eddie.

It was like a switch had been flipped and a light had gone on as Jamie stood before her. "That was some shot." A beat passed. "You saved my life."

"Jamie," Eddie breathed. "It was like I heard a voice, I swear to God."

"That's called a radio," Jamie put in.

"No, serious. Like I knew," she said. "I knew you were in trouble before… you … even were… like I was warned…" She wanted to cry but held back the tears and threw herself into his arms. "Jamie," she said again before the tears began to fall.

Jamie held her for a minute. "I'd spend the five million on you," he said, referring to the game they had been playing, 'what would you do with 5 million dollars.'

Laughter mingled through Eddie's tears as two RMPs screamed up nearby. On the sidewalk behind Jamie, Eddie saw the man from the coffee shop that she'd seen through the corner of her eye. She was sure he was the one who had told her Jamie was in trouble, but how had he known? He smiled at her, but when she blinked, he disappeared.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

"Who is that?" Eddie asked Jamie as she pointed to the photograph on the shelf.

"That's my brother, Joe," Jamie replied.

"I saw him a while back," Eddie told him.

"Really?" Jamie asked. "When? Where?"

"The day I saved your life," Edie replied.

"Not possible," Jamie told her. "Joe was killed in the line of duty…" he stopped to think a minute. "Nine years ago. Are you sure it was then?"

Eddie shook her head, but Erin interrupted before she could say anything else.

"Eddie, Jamie," she said. "Come into the sun room. I've got something you might want to see."

When they had joined the family around the TV, Erin pressed play on the DVD player. "I found these last week," she said. "They're from the Thanksgiving before Joe died."

Jamie smiled as he watched them playing football in a snowy back yard. On the screen, Joe spiked the football into a drift of snow and ran toward the camera, laughing. "Our point!" he said before Jamie tackled him and shoved his face in the snow. The scene cut to one of the family getting ready to sit down at the table. "Let me help you with that, Linda," Joe said as he took a big bowl of potatoes from her to place on the table.

Jamie looked at Eddie to see her frowning at the images. "What's wrong, Eddie?" he asked her, gaining the attention of the rest of the family. Erin paused the video and it rested on the image.

"I saw him that day," Eddie insisted. "The day I saved you. He warned me you were in trouble. He followed me into the coffee shop and told me…" she looked up to Jamie's shocked family. "He knew your name, Jamie." She shook her head in disbelief. "He knew _MY_ name."

"Are you sure?" Frank asked.

Eddie nodded. "It was that face," she said as she pointed to the screen. "It was that voice. I saw him again on the sidewalk but then I blinked and he was gone."

The family was quiet until finally, Henry spoke. "I saw him, too," he said. "That time Frank got shot and we spent the night in the waiting room."

"I saw him," Erin said. "The time _I_ got shot."

They looked at each other in silence. "Anybody else?" Frank asked.

Slowly, the rest of his children and Nikki raised their hands. Frank took a breath before his hand joined theirs in the air. "I saw him the night after he died. Sitting with me at the dining room table," he said. "I thought it was just my imagination."

"I think we all might have," Danny said. "But if Eddie, the one person here who didn't know him, heard him, maybe…" he shrugged.

They looked at Eddie and she shrugged. "All I know," she said. "Is that's the voice I heard warning me that Jamie was in trouble."

Erin hit play on the remote as the person running the camera set it down on the table. "Joe," Henry's voice came through the TV speakers. "Why don't you start?"

The camera aimed to show Joe and he began to speak. "Well," he began. "I'm thankful for a lot of things. My family, my girl." He paused to kiss Angela's hand. "And the life that I love. That's all there is, isn't there?" He looked directly into the camera with a big smile. "Isn't there?" The recording stopped there, freezing on the image.

The family looked at each other in surprise.


End file.
